Hello everyone, I'm Tze Ching. Welcome to my blog.

Hello!

For the longest time I have been thinking about reviving my blogging, and after some much needed encouragement (because the social media world is one scary place) I have decided to go for it. So here I am.

I don't particularly know what I will write about, but I have an inkling it most probably would be about my nonsensical interests. Which lie a lot in skincare, makeup, handbags, clothes, shoes, jewellery, books, perfume, pretty things and a whole lot of other girly stuff. 

Perhaps I would also write about why I am who I am at the moment. 

And things that matter to me. 

Yesterday I met up with a bunch of old school friends I have known for most of my life. 24 years, to be exact. One of them said something which has stayed with me until now:

"To us, Tze Ching has always been an idea."

I should continue that he subsequently said that was because they haven't seen me for the longest time - 2 or 3 years for some - and in their heads I was who I have always been ever since I was a child. Hence the revelation of me being ill was extremely shocking to them. But when we met it was like - essentially, nothing has changed. And yet everything has. 

See - that's Tze Ching. Dramatic to a tee. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to be that idea again. Maybe it exists only in my head but who cares? I live for myself, and for the people who love me. 

It is a tremendous thing, to be able to be oneself again. Even if it is only, at the time of writing, a shadow of. But a slightly stronger shadow is better than a shell, even if the shell is hard and impenetrable compared to a shadow that flickers and wavers depending on external factors. Because you don't know what lurks underneath the shell that appears so strong and hard. 

I don't know why I am attempting to write like this wtf. 

Above all - I am trying. And that's much better than what life has been like for the past four and a half years.